Am I Where God Wants Me?

Starting graduate school has been such a blessing and an amazing experience, but it has been difficult. During the first few weeks, one question kept coming to mind. Why am I here?

Going between several Bible classes with little background in those specific areas was overwhelming. All I wanted was to be sitting in an English, writing, or grammar class—something I’m familiar with and love. But instead I sat in lectures that threw around biblical concepts and jargon I’ve only heard a few times in my life and names of philosophers I keep getting confused with each other. Why am I here? Why aren’t I off studying writing somewhere else?

I sat next to a good friend on the bus one day and expressed my thoughts to her as I examined the mountains in the distance.

“But you feel like God called you here, right?” She turned to me.

I could see her from the corner of my eye, but I didn’t really want to look at her. She was right—is right. I had prayed about it for months and felt God pressing on my heart that this is where He wanted me, doing what I’m doing now. But that was last November. I’ve changed so much since then, my life has changed since then, and it seems like this should have changed too.

“Don’t doubt in the dark what God told you in the light,” she said.

I’ve heard this before. A quote that seems to be attributed to Victor Raymond Edman. The words hit me like my stack of theology books dropped from the top of the campus 275-foot tower. I’m doing what God told me to do, and instead of questioning Him, I need to trust Him, even if it doesn’t make sense right now.

As the weeks are going by, I still haven’t figured out why God has placed me here. But I’ve become more content with where I am knowing that He knows my future. He knows it and because of that, I don’t have to worry about it. He will show me why I’m here at the right time, so right now I just need to focus on following Him.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  —Romans 15:13