On March 13, 2012, I had my fourth and final lung surgery. I completely forgot about this anniversary until a worship song in church reminded me of it. When I was in the hospital, and even sometimes when I am just having pain at home, I literally have to depend on God for the next breath.
Sometimes we don’t understand why God allows us to go through things like major surgery, emotional hurt, the pain of a loss, or anything that hurts in any way. I can tell you that even though I don’t fully understand why it happened, I’m grateful that I went through each and every one of my lung surgeries. Yes, they were the most painful physical thing that I have ever endured, but if it wasn’t for those experiences I might not have a reason to tell you how amazing God is right now. (Amazing is an understatement by the way.)
Because of my last surgery alone, I was out of school for nine days which meant I had to teach myself everything I missed. Thankfully, I was able to get help from a good friend, but wanting to be a perfect student, I was still upset that I missed so much school. But God is faithful! My grades went up as soon as I got caught up. God didn’t forget about me or leave me behind. He helped me succeed and do better than before!
Sometimes I still have lung problems to the point that I wonder if I should go to the hospital. This scares me because I have already had two more surgeries than I thought (and was told) I would need. I fear what might happen if I need another surgery.
This reminds me that my breath does come from God. I cannot get it from anyone else. It’s something that many people take for granted. Never take breathing for granted!
This experience has shown me that God is in control. I don’t need to worry or be afraid because God knows what He is doing! He knows my body better than I do. He knows where every bleb is on my lung and which one is the weakest. (If you don’t know, pulmonary blebs are small air pockets that form on the lung and can rupture, causing the lung to collapse.)
God knows my future and He has a plan for my life. I get to bring Him glory through my life. I just need to trust Him with it entirely.
If I never had a surgery, March 13th would be just another day for me. Instead, it stands as a reminder that God is in control and is taking care of me.