Have you ever wondered why God choose you? Why did God chose you to go through that hard time, relationship crisis, death in the family, cancer, job loss, rejection, betrayal? Why did God let that happen to you specifically?
This question has raced through my mind for the last six years, ever since my first lung surgery at age fourteen. I struggled with this over time coming up with little answers for it.
For years I said He did it so I could go to camp that summer instead of Florida because I wouldn’t have gone to camp the two years following if that hadn’t happened. Maybe that was true, but after my surgery when the next year rolled around, I had to have yet another surgery. I still wondered the same question. I was more okay with it by then because I knew if I had a surgery on both lungs it should get better, and I would be fine for the rest of my life.
I wasn’t fine. After that second surgery my lung was still leaking air, and I had to have another surgery two days later.
When all of that finally ended I thought I was free of the problem; however, the following year I had another surgery on my right lung. This horrified me because I was told that there was only a three to four percent chance that my lungs would collapse again.
Now three years out from these surgeries I recently found out that l have mild bleb formation on my lungs. If you don’t already know, blebs are small pockets on the lungs, often described as blisters, which can they rupture and cause the lung to collapse.
Lately I’ve been wondering why me? Why did God choose me to have this problem? And not just having the problem in the first place, why am I one of the few (or one of the only) to have this still be a problem despite the fact that I’ve had so many surgeries. This morning I think I found my answer.
The Apostle Paul went through something similar:
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. -2 Corinthians 12:7b-10
So even though my lungs are in poor condition and weak, I have to rely on God to take care of me because of it. I have to trust Him, even my next breath, because I can’t always trust my body for it. I cannot take a single breath for granted because it may not always come so easily. Those who have been in a position where they couldn’t breathe will understand.
Now, taking Paul’s example, I can delight in the trials of life. The weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties because when I am weak, Christ is strong in me.